A couple of days ago, I stumbled upon a blog called A girl named Kevin. Basically, the woman who writes it, Loni, suffered the devastating loss of her daughter Aisley just last month. I obviously don't have all of the details, but what I know from her blog is that she had a homebirth and her daughter was stillborn. The baby's heart tones were steady even while she was in the birth canal. They believe that in the final moments before birth, there was a cord accident. Because this was a homebirth, Loni and her husband have come under attack. So while dealing with their immense grief, they now have to justify the fact that it was NOT their fault that their baby died.
I chose to birth my last two babies with highly trained midwives out of a hospital. I CHOSE. My husband and I CHOSE. Why is it anyone else's business where I, or any other woman, has her baby? Just last week I had to defend my choice of homebirth to the guy who processed my son's social security card. He had a completely negative attitude towards me because of it. Why does it matter to him, a complete stranger, where my baby was born?
Where you choose to labor and birth your baby is an extremely personal choice. One that is the business of the pregnant woman and her partner/baby's father/husband. I had my first child in a hospital and I chose never to do that again. I am not a birth nazi, but I am passionate about birth. I don't care where anyone else births. Well, that isn't entirely true. Pregnant friends close to me know that I will subtly mention how amazing my midwives and my homebirth experience were but I try to stop there!
I know there are women who take control of their labors in a hospital. There are women who don't mind the constant monitoring and mandatory IV and the nurses who tend to ask if you would like an epidural 15 times. Some women feel safer in a hospital. I do not judge this. I know not every hospital is a pit of hell like the one I had my daughter in. There are fabulous doctors and nurses and even midwives that work in hospitals. Just as I'm sure there are midwives that do homebirth that are the exception to the rule as well.
I was fortunate in that I had a supportive husband and family when I chose to birth at home. It is true that not everyone was comfortable with my decision but no one said anything negative to me. A lot of people are unsure about homebirth because they are not educated on it. Most women who chose homebirth end up educating themselves as well as their families and friends on the safety and benefits of it.
Excuse my ramblings. I was up most of the night with a sick baby and all of this on my mind. Please show some love to Loni on her blog if you can. I can't begin to imagine her pain and you can't have too much positive support.
Just for kicks here are some studies on the safety of homebirth:
In case you are looking for a midwife in the Sacramento area: