Disappointment and New beginnings

I miss blogging! I took a little break while we moved and got settled in our new house.

Over the past month I have been actively searching for a job, turning in resumes and even going on an interview. Last week, an interview I was scheduled to go on was canceled because they filled the position. I was so disappointed because I felt like this job would be perfect for our family.  It took me a day or so to find the bright side. I realized that I hadn't worked since a month before my baby boy was born. I have been so blessed to be home with my three babies for the past five months. I have gotten crazy good at budgeting and finding cheap or free things to do with the kids. Most of all, it has forced me to come up with creative ways to make money. I have so many ideas floating around in my head and I can't wait to put some in action!

This time has also allowed me to find what I am really passionate about. I love pregnancy and birth. I have always been fascinated with it, even when I was a teenager. Now that I am a mama and I have experienced three very different births, I have a huge respect for the birthing process. A friend of mine recently gave birth at home using the same midwives I delivered baby boy with. She also used a professional photographer to capture her labor and birth. Something clicked for me when I looked at the pictures from her birth.

I have to be involved with birth somehow.

Like I said, this isn't exactly something new to me. Anyone who knows me at all knows I have always wanted to work with pregnant and/or parenting teenagers. It's why I got my B.A. Now I want to take it a step further. My dream is to become certified as a childbirth educator and a birth doula. I watched a documentary today called "Pregnant In America." That sealed the deal!

My homebirth story

After 42 weeks of pregnancy, lots of walking (ok some walking), drinking various herbs, membrane stripping and listening to advice from just about everyone regarding how to start my labor, I finally gave in and drank a bottle of castor oil on the 294^th day of my pregnancy. 5 hours later, active labor started. I put my two daughters to bed just as labor was starting and hoped that they would fall asleep fast. I had always thought that when it finally started it was going to go fairly quickly and it seemed like it got intense right away. So around 10:30pm I had my husband call my good friend who was going to photograph the labor and birth and our midwives. Everyone showed up around 11:30 pm.

When I was checked, I was 4cm dilated. My first instinct was to get discouraged at that low number but instead I convinced myself that my body was working really hard and it would still move quickly. In the beginning, I moved around the house a lot trying to get comfortable. Eventually though I wanted to stay in our bedroom and labor pretty much on my own. My husband knows how I am in labor so he was there when I needed his presence and backed off when he sensed I didn’t. I kept asking when I could get into the birth tub but I couldn’t until I was at least 6 cms.

Finally around 1am (at least I think that’s what time it was!) I got into the tub. I was already in transition at that point so the water provided little relief. Every symptom of transition that you read about, I felt like I was having. My legs were trembling uncontrollably and it was driving me crazy! I asked one of my midwives to break my amniotic sac so that we could move it along a little. She did and I instantly felt like I needed to push. It is amazing the almost primal urges your body experiences in trying to get the baby out. Nothing else matters at that point. The baby had a little trouble coming out, due to his big size. I had to move into several positions to try and help him and finally he was out! All 9lbs 5ozs, 22ins of sweet baby boy. I am so thankful to have been able to give birth to my son in our home with the support of my husband and our wonderful midwives, and to have an amazing photographer to capture it all.